Spicy Mint Rack of Lamb

Most of my blog posts have been about stories from childhood but lately I have been doing a lot less reminiscing and more daydreaming and planning for a future that seems totally uncertain at this point.  The uncertainty is on all levels, personal, relationships, the whole dating thing and career of course.

I have worked with my company for three years now and have literally visited the world while doing so.  I am one of the fortunate few that landed an amazing job right out of college that allowed me to expand and evolve on so many levels.  Most importantly, I have always felt accepted and therefore thrived and truly outdid myself. 

If you know me well, you know that I don't like giving myself a lot of credit which translates into simply being humble - something my culture and family have instilled in me since childhood. For the first time in my career, I feel that I've done it all - within my scope and limited title - and ready for a different challenge, opportunity, a chance..... After so many awards, numerous pats on the back and "I think you are going to be my CEO some day," I feel totally stuck for the first time in three years.  Nothing seems to be moving forward.  An opportunity flutters in the distance every once in a while and then vanishes before I even reach out to clasp it. Sure it could be that I fail sometimes at "selling myself" or "putting myself out there" as I always seem to stutter a little and forget half of what I was going to say when I do try to "sell myself." The fact of the matter is that I learned the English language in a matter of 11 years and can now speak it better than most whom have lived here all their lives. In fact, I have worked so hard at getting rid of my accent that many mistaken me for being from the Midwest! Not sure where the connection is but I guess it's there.

This whole "selling yourself" concept is so foreign to me.  It seems to be the way to go in our capitalistic world today however.   I went for my Master's after graduating College and was adamant and persistant at making something out of myself. I hate that I have to tell the world all that I have accomplished.  It's so frustrating when those around you don't quite see it.  I also had to live up to my Father's expectations, who happens to be a Hematologist/Oncologist - coming from a family of doctors! It's not easy. I have proven myself and done so with a lot of strength. I graduated with honors, received even further certification in a number of things, started learning my third language and continue to expand my horizon on every level imaginable. It is time for me to move.  My time has come; had come actually.  I am not giving up just yet as I absolutely love my career and where it has taken me and all the wonderful people I have met, but my bags are packed, and patience is running out.  I have one last attempt before I do the unthinkable and change companies completely. hovering in a hold pattern for over eight months really messes with your head. 

I am very paient and won't give up any time soon, but my lights are starting to flicker.  In the meantime I plan on continuing to do what I do best and will give my career all the attention and focus it needs moving forward.  I am committed and determined about going somewhere and it will happen sooner than later. Well anyway, Thanks for reading and enjoy my rack of lamb :) 

You can watch my video recipe here Tasting The Levant


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